Wonderful, Beautiful, Counselor.
Awesome, Breathtaking, Lord.
Amazing, Incredible, Lover.
How can you still see me so pure.

I need your love
To get me through the low place.
I need your friendship
To stay by me in the good place.
You are merciful, gracious, powerful.
You are Lord.

Life seems to bring so many blows...  and yet so many blessings.  I am in a place of contentment, complacency.  I don't want to be content.  I do not want to be stagnant in my relationships anymore.  I want something deeper.  Not only with my Lover and Savior, Jesus Christ, but with people as well.  I tend to cover the outside topics... refraining to give away any detail that would hinder people's views of me.  No longer.  I am sick of holding back the topics that rip at my heart daily, forcing me into the state of contentment with only knowing facial information.  I want people to know my mistakes, and love me all the more for them.  Not love me because they have to, but love me because they want to see me grow in my walk with Christ. 

I want to see men, CHRISTIAN men take a stand for what we actually believe in rather than being hypocritical.  I want them to pursue a woman for her heart more than for her body.  I want them to be able to look inside me and see my flaws... even the ones I am ashamed of... and love me.  REGARDLESS.  This is my prayer.  This is my challenge.  This is my hope, dream, and need.

Lord, give me the strength to continue to wait.  I know my knight in shining armor is coming, and help me to accept his flaws like he will accept mine.  Most of all Lord, help me to never lose sight of You.  You are Alpha and Omega.  You have given me xapis!  I love you, Lord!

Your Daughter,

Bethany

wow.... I never write on here anymore... Anyone hear me on that?  I don't think people even read xanga's anymore... LOL

There is much to talk about.  Just no time to do it.  I have time... for now. 

Nursing is kicking my butt... I'm doing ok... it's just hard... I get frustrated easily.  It's weird how I want to strive for something so bad that I ask so many questions.  I don't want to fail at this.  I can't fail at this.  I have too much riding on this for my life.   God... help me.  I'm gonna need it.

boys... hmm... so many of them... so little time!  LOL... JK JK JK!  I have no guy in my life at this point in time.  I'm still as single as ever and I'm content with it.  I dont want to be tied down right now.  I am having too much fun being single with all my friends.  Ya sure... it would be nice to have some stability in my life, and I'm nto rejecting that....  but I am loving the fact that I have nothing to tie me down. 

God is doing some pretty sweet stuff in my life...  I am blessed beyond all measure.  Nough said. 

I leave for Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in 20 days... I couldn't be happier.  I can't wait for a vacation.  LOL.  With exams and everything else coming due, it's going to be a much needed vacation. 

Peace out and bless up!

have you ever noticed that when you most need to be off xanga it seems soo appealing?  Like now.  I have a huge Health Assessment midterm tomorrow... and yet here I am updating xanga for the sheer fun of it.  Sigh... what am I to do with myself.  haha. 

I come home on Thursday morning for fall break.  I'm super excited especially because I will be going to my highschool homecoming as an alumi... (weird... I know).  I get to see old friends and have fun.  I sincerely miss all my teachers from high school.  haha... not so much the students... but the teachers that helped me get to where I am now. 

I'm tired.  Tired of running.  I've stopped.  I've fallen short and the sad part about it is I don't really care.  Now... I'm not talking my walk with Christ.... I'm talking life in general.  I feel burned out on life... like I just need a vacation from reality for a couple of weeks..... man.. I can't wait for Christmas Break.  hahahaha. 

I want to find love.  I'm sick of flings.  I want the "grow old together... have his and her sides of the sink...  stare deeply into one anothers eyes until I fall asleep" kind of love.  I know... I know.... "God's timing"...  But I'm freakin sick of waiting.  I know I know... "be content with being single".... I am.  I'm having fun with it actually... I just.... Am sick of it.  Oh well.  What's new with that right?  haha.

I am addicted to Grey's Anatomy.  A-D-D-I-C-T-E-D!  I hope she chooses Shephard even though he withdrew.  She loves him... he loves her.  CAN'T THEY JUST COMMIT!  SHEESH!  ok.... nough of that.

I went to my grandparent's 50th anniversary party... I had fun... and I love my parents and brother.... here's a pic of me and the bro!

and with that.....  I'm done.  PEACE!